The last time a bunch of science wonks crunched numbers about lifespan, they determined that the average time we get to stay on this planet is 71 years. (Actually, it’s 73.6 for women and 68.2 for men … sorry, guys. Looks like it’s going to be a longer girl party.)
The length of an average lifespan is crucial when you’re calculating just how much of a lifetime supply you would need of anything. How much aluminum foil will you go through in 71 years? How many Snickers bars could you eat? How much cheese will you realistically need? Reddit put out the call to find out who had gotten a lifetime supply of something and how it turned out. Readers responded with their own wildly varying experiences with “lifetime supplies” … and they really tell the tale of just how long a lifetime can drag on.
Endless Rolls of Foil
From Nelsonmavrick: “I went to school with a kid whose mom won a lifetime supply of aluminum foil. They wrap EVERYTHING in foil. His whole lunch every day was wrapped in foil: sandwich, fruit, etc… And then they make one of those baking pouches, and that’s his lunch bag. When we had like dessert potluck, his cookies came wrapped in foil. I asked him about it once and he said they even wrap all their Christmas presents in it, and they still get too many boxes of it. They give it away to friends and family.”
When you think about it, a lifetime supply of aluminum foil is kind of a burden. Imagine all your lunches, cakes, leftovers and even gifts and textbooks wrapped in the shiny stuff… FOREVER. The anxiety over finding practical uses for aluminum foil is bound to become overwhelming. Giving it away was the right call. Bonus tip: Cats hate foil. Lay a sheet out on the kitchen counter and they’ll never jump up there again.
With Knives, a Lifetime Apparently Means Three
From Lord of the Strings: “Won a lifetime supply of knives. I guessed correctly how many sheets of paper the knife could stab through. After I broke the first two, I was told my third was my last one. Apparently the knives were supposed to last a lifetime.”
Clearly, the number of knives you could use in your time on this planet isn’t the same as how many you should use in that timeframe. “All you can eat” buffets are betting you won’t stay and eat for a week, even though you probably could. In the case of this Reddit user, it appears that he could have used a terrifying number of knives, but the knife folks put an end to his shenanigans. In hindsight, that might have been a good call.